Divorce Lawyer Gunnison Utah

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Monday, 10 April 2017

Riverton 84065 Salt Lake Co. UT divorce lawyer consultation cost

Divorce Doesn't Have to Destroy Your Kids - Guidelines For Divorcing and Divorced Parents

Divorce - How to rebuild your life - how to file for divorce

Divorce should be considered as a last resort to fix a relationship problem. This type of procedure is very serious and it has to be a decision that is well thought out before attempting to start the process. You need to make sure that you are ready for this type of drastic measure in order to help your relationship get better.

When you are filing for divorce, you will want to notify the court that you are going to proceed with the dissolution of your marriage. This is something that means you are not able to work the marriage out any more and you want to put it to an end. You will file a summons and petition the court in your county. Ultimately it is then in the courts hands and you will have to wait to hear when the actual hearing will be to determine the next step.

Before you decide to file for divorce, you will want to choose the proper state and county to file your papers. In order to start your divorce proceedings, you will want to make sure that you are going to the right place first. You must make sure that the divorce is occurring in the county where you or your spouse lives.

You must make sure that you are ready for the long haul in a divorce. You will find that the proceedings will go on until a conclusion is reached about all of the issues that are brought up. This can take a short time or a longer period of time depending on the issues and what each party is ready to do about it. There are going to be many different alternatives in a divorce proceeding. You will want to make sure that you are open minded and going in to the process with good intentions at the same time.

You may have to go to court in order to figure out what is best for you and you family. You may have to talk to a judge and let them decide for you if you are not able to come to a resolution together. The judge will take into consideration everything that is said so that he can make the best decision for everyone that is involved in the proceedings. You may want to make sure that you are ready for this type of outcome to happen.

You will probably find it to be necessary to hire and attorney to take care of the proceedings in your divorce. You will want to make sure that you are represented well so that you are not putting yourself at risk for coming up short in the end. You want have your message sent to the courts loud and clear so that you are able to make sure that your side of the story is heard. There are many factors that have to be decided in a divorce hearing and you want to do your best to have it ruled in your favor.

The last thing that you should want to do is make the divorce a messy one. You should not want to make it hard for the other person just for spite. This is not a good idea because all it will do is add more stress on you and may even hurt your case. You want to make sure that you are doing what you can to make this procedure go as quickly and fairly as you can. That would be best for everyone involved including you and the family around you.

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Midvale 84047 Salt Lake Co. UT chat with divorce lawyer

Divorce Doesn't Have to Destroy Your Kids - Guidelines For Divorcing and Divorced Parents

Are You Prepared For Your Child Custody Hearing?

The court plays a significant role in determining what is in the 'best interests' of your child. The court considers all aspects including physical, educational, spiritual, emotional as well as preferential requirements of a child, so it makes a study of homes of both parents, along with schools, location, neighborhoods and facilities, before making a decision on custody.

Although the courts have the best interests in mind, there can't be anyone more important in making the best decision for their children than parents. Parents should try and settle their Child Custody issues outside the courts. A custody decision arrived on your own with two agreeing parents is more desirable than the one which is disputed a determined by the court.

Preparing for the Child Custody trial, you should possess certain documents and information related to your children, which will help determine the best interests of your child. It is better if you maintained a record of your children's life about events which affect them, like visiting with the other parent, grandparents, doctor's appointment, school activities, family and religious activities, medical appointments and counseling dates, etc. You should support your position, by keeping notes with you regarding,

1) Parent's Home: This factors determines whether you can provide good surroundings and adequate shelter for your children, the size of the house, neighborhood, availability of help and babysitters, hospitals, bathrooms, bedrooms, etc. play a significant role in determining the best one for the child. Though not an important point, it does help make a good impression.

2) New Relationships: This is a comparatively irrelevant factor in determining Child Custody cases, the court will consider this factor if only the relationship makes any impact on the child's well being. If the new relationship does not play any important relationship then this point will not be relevant to determination of Child custody.

3) Status Quo: It is an important factor in determining custody case, if a child's parents reside in different districts, it in unlikely that the court will order to change the residence during the academic year, especially if the child is being properly brought up. If you want a change in status quo, you will be required to furnish a strong reason for this. A good example would be an issue with the current conditions unsafe for the child.

4) Child's Preference: A child's preference is not considered by the court since the court will not give a child to make a decision for himself, however this might not be the case if the child happens to be a teenager and possess enough power to think and evaluate position.

5) Parent's Availability: Full time parenting has an advantage over working full time for supporting oneself. However, the court might not deter from giving you the custody only because you need to work to support yourself and your child.

These are just a few things to consider while preparing for your Child Custody case.

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Magna 84044 Salt Lake Co. UT child custody attorney free consultation

Child Custody Cases and Visitation

Divorce has become a common occurrence both in the United States and around the world. According to divorce statistics, it is estimated that between 40 percent and 50 percent of first marriages end in divorce in the United States. In some countries, divorce rates for first marriages exceed 50 percent. Second and third marriages in the United States have even higher divorce rates. According to statistics, second marriages fail at a rate of 60-67 percent, and third marriages fail at a rate of 73-74 percent.

Divorce statistics show that there are number of reasons why marriages fail. According to divorced couples, the number one reason that marriage fails is due to either a lack of communication or poor communication. The second most cited reason for divorce is martial conflicts and arguments. Thirdly, many divorced couples say infidelity led to divorce. While these are the primary reasons cited for divorce, statistics show that there are several underlying factors that contribute to these trends. These factors include, but are not limited to: age, education, income, religion, and cohabitation.

Age

Statistics show that those who get married in their mid to late-twenties are less likely to get divorced that those who marry at a younger age, and that this age group tends to be more satisfied in marriage than those couple who marry later in life. For divorced couples under the age of 20, the women are more likely to initiate the divorce; whereas for divorced couples over the age of 20, the men are more likely to initiate the divorce.

Education and Income

Education and income both play a role in divorce statistics. Data shows that a married couple with a higher education and a higher income is less likely to divorce than a couple with lower education and lower income.

Religion

While several religious denominations show a slightly lower divorce rate of 21-34 percent, other data suggests that those with no religious affiliation have a lower divorce rate than those with reported religious affiliations. It has also been suggested that pastors of local congregations, for various reasons, may not be aware of how many divorced couples are actually in, or have been part of, their congregations.

Cohabitation

Reports suggest that between 40 percent and 85 percent of couples who lived together before getting married had the marriage end in divorce.

Divorce statistics indicate that about one-fourth of adults in the United States have been divorced at least once in their lifetime. Characteristics of individuals that have a higher probability of divorce include:

o younger age at time of marriage
o lower education
o has children from a previous relationship
o cohabitation prior to marriage
o sexual activity prior to marriage

According to divorce statistics, it does not appear that only one factor contributes to a couple's decision to divorce. Although three primary reasons have been identified by divorced couples as the leading causes of divorce, it seems that underlying factors may contribute to these issues as well.

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Draper 84020 Salt Lake Co. UT adoption attorneys near me

We've Decided to Get a Divorce Now What?

When you have children with your ex spouse, it's very beneficial to have a friendly relationship with them rather than being angry and hostile at each other. Although divorce is very stressful and it can be easy to get caught up in the stress, pain, anger and other emotions that come along with it - friendship is much easier to deal with. Your children will appreciate it as well. Here are some great tips on making your friendship with your ex spouse better.

Accept the Divorce and Heal

The first thing you should do if you plan on being friends with your ex spouse is allow yourself to heal completely from the pain and other emotions that come with divorce. You are or were probably pretty upset, angry, confused and more. When you are bombarded with all of these emotions at one time, it can be difficult to be friends with your ex spouse. Give yourself some time to heal from the wounds of divorce and then attempt to be friends with your ex spouse. You will have a better chance of having a friendly relationship.

Give and Receive Support

Another way to improve the friendship you have with your ex spouse is by supporting him or her. When they are trying to do things to improve their life or the life of your children, let them know they are doing a great job. Encourage them when they are spending time with the kids and encourage the children to spend time with your ex spouse. These things are really important when you're trying to build your friendship with your ex. Also, thank them for the support you receive from them.

Join a Support Group

Another great way to help build your relationship with your spouse is to convince them to join a support group with you. This will allow the both of you to discuss your problems and talk to others who have been there. If you can't talk your spouse into joining a support group, join one for yourself anyway. The pressures that come from divorce are often very difficult to handle and support from others can make things much easier to handle.

Although divorce is a very difficult thing to deal with and it's easy to be mad at your spouse, it can be much easier if you develop a friendship with your spouse. It will only further the healing for yourself, your spouse and your children. Use the above tips to help you build a great relationship with your ex spouse and move forward to a happier, healthier lifestyle.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707

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North Salt Lake 84054 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer questions

Child Custody Cases and Visitation

When homeowners are facing a divorce, one of the most difficult decisions is determining what to do with the house. Because this decision can be highly emotional, important factors can be overlooked and the final decision could be a major financial mistake for both parties.

Couples under the duress of ending a relationship need to step back and look at the true financial value of the house before making a decision. Divorce is scary, so fighting to hold onto the house may provide a level of comfort. But this may be short-lived once a newly single person is weighed down by the high cost of the house. The better choice might be to sell the house, even if you owe more than it is worth. A divorce situation opens the door to getting out from under a financially upside-down house and a potential foreclosure.

Divorcing homeowners need to realize how the tremendous decline in housing values has affected the value of their house. Even if they have owned the house for as long as seven years, they still may owe more than the house is worth. With housing values continuing to decline, it may not be worth fighting to keep a house and ending up with an asset that is worth less than you owe. A better alternative may be a short sale of the house.

Divorcing homeowners can determine if they should sell the house by:

• Checking its market value. A simple way to get a "general" idea of the market value is to check the county's appraised value. This can be done by visiting the county's Appraisal District website. A more accurate way is to have a local realtor assess the value of the house.

• Checking the principal balance of the mortgage. Most mortgage companies provide the principal balance on the monthly statement, or you can call the mortgage company and ask for the "principal balance."

If the principal balance is higher than the market value, a short sale may be the answer. Most mortgage companies recognize a divorce as a justifiable reason for a short sale.

In a short sale, the proceeds from the sale amount to less than the balance owed. The bank or lender agrees to discount a loan balance due to an economic or financial hardship caused by the divorce. This negotiation is done through communication with a bank's loss mitigation or short sale department by a professional company.

For the homeowner, advantages include getting out from under an upside-down house, avoiding a foreclosure on their credit history, and partial control of the monetary deficiency.

Other considerations for divorcing homeowners include:

• Most lenders require a licensed real estate agent to list the house and conduct the short sale. The agent should be experienced at short sales.

• You should never pay anything for a short sale. The real estate company is paid by your lender after the sale.

• Beware of fraud. Make sure any company you work with is legitimate, with a business address and website. If all you have is an individual's cell phone number, this is not a good sign. Also, the company should never ask for payment.

• When deciding if you should keep the house, determine the total costs. The mortgage payment may be the largest cost, but there are also insurance, taxes, utilities, and yard care. Maintenance is a major consideration, because some big items need to be replaced every 10 to 15 years, such as a roof, air conditioning system, water heater, and kitchen appliances.

A divorce is one of the hardest and most emotionally draining events in your life, and following it with a foreclosure will only make things worse. As difficult as it may be, this is the time to look past emotional bonds to the house and focus on the numbers.

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Layton 84041 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer help

Learn More About a Divorce Lawyer

The state of Utah has important guidelines and statutes concerning child custody and the making of a custody and visitation schedule. These laws are found in Title 30 of the Utah Code. Any parent who is involved in a custody situation needs to know these laws and decide how they impact the making of their personal custody and visitation schedule. Here is an overview of some of the statutes that parents may want to consider.

1. A joint custody schedule. Chapter 3, Section 10 of Title 30 contains information about how the state views joint custody. The state has a law that it considers a joint custody schedule in every custody case. This doesn't mean that joint custody is awarded in every case, only that the court will consider it. If either parent wants a shared custody arrangement, they need to make a plan that includes a schedule of parenting time and custody. They should also be prepared to explain how a joint schedule is in the best interest of the child. If a parent does not want this type of custody, they need to prove to the court that this type of arrangement is detrimental to the child.

2. How custody is awarded. The biggest part of the visitation schedule is which parent has custody and which parent has visitation. In Utah, if the parents agree on who has custody, the court will approve it. If the mother and father are not able to agree, the court will decide on the custody schedule. The judge will look at the moral character of each parent and will also choose the parent who is more likely to encourage the child to develop a relationship with the other parent.

3. Input from the child. Section 10 allows the court to consider the preference of the child when making the custody and visitation schedule. The opinion of the child is heard, but it isn't controlling nor is it the only factor that affects the schedule. The preference of children age sixteen and over is given more weight, but again, it doesn't mean that the schedule will reflect exactly what the child wants.

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Kaysville 84037 Davis Co. UT adoption lawyer near me

Divorce - How To Survive A Break-Up

Public records of divorce are available on the Internet. There are lots of different reasons way and when you might want to search them, and the process of searching can be quite involved. In this article I'm going to cover a couple of reasons why you might want to look at these records, where they are stored, and what you can do to get your hands on them more easily.

So why would you be searching for public records of divorce in the first place? Well, some people who are about to get married want to check and see if the person they're marrying is really divorced. It may sound funny, but there have been many cases in the past where a person has claimed to be divorced when they are not, and this has resulted in their committing bigamy.

Also, even if the person you're marrying says they have never been married in the past, they may be divorced and supporting children that you do not know about. If you wait until after you're married to find out that this is the case they could cause large financial strains for you in the future.

So how do you get to see these public records of divorce? Well, they are stored in courthouses in the state and county where the person was divorced. In addition, copies are often stored at state level. To see them, all you need to do is make an appointment to see them and then come to the place they are stored and read through them.

These days it's so easy to move around from one end of the country to another. The downside of this is that a person could have got divorced in completely different state, so a search of the local courthouses and state records will not help you to track this information down. Of course, you don't have time to visit every state and every county the entire country to try and find out whether the person in question has been divorced in the past.

There is an easy method of searching this information, which takes advantage of the Internet and databases. Basically, it is a database of all the court records in the country, which is filed cross-referenced against a person's name and other identifying details. Searching through this databases is as easy as typing in a name and hitting search. It can find the results that you are looking for within a few seconds.

Click on link below to see the site I recommend most of all for public records of divorce.

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Farmington 84025 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer for cheap

Do Parenting Classes Benefit Your Family?

It doesn't matter whether you were the one who wanted the divorce or whether you were the one who was left - the first year following divorce is difficult. In all likelihood, you're living alone for the first time in years. That is either a shock or a relief, depending on the type of marriage you were in. Regardless, it's a big adjustment.

While you may have had other losses in your life, in my experience, there are few that disrupt a person as totally as divorce. It impacts your mental health, your financial security, your family relationships, your home and your children. It is probably an experience you haven't been through before, so you're unprepared for the many issues that arise.

If you were the one who initiated the divorce you may feel guilty and worried about what the divorce may be doing to your spouse and children. If you left because you felt abused in the relationship, you may still be angry. You might feel resentful towards your ex for putting you in the position of having to make such a difficult choice.

If you left because you were in love with someone else - you probably feel guilty but you may also be looking forward to the future. It's normal to have contradictory feelings. This goes with the territory when it comes to making any major life decisions.

If you were the one who was left, you are probably feeling abandoned and possibly in shock. The prospect of being alone and in the position of having to rebuild your life is surely overwhelming. Being left is experienced by most as a major rejection. It impacts a person's confidence and self-esteem. If your spouse left you for someone else it's a double injury.

Off and on during the first year following divorce, you may be flooded with emotion - sadness, anger, despair, guilt, hope, relief - any and all of these are normal. In time, the waves of emotion recede. You will eventually feel less emotionally disrupted.

In addition to being periodically flooded with feelings, the first year following divorce brings many changes. You may be faced with moving and resettling yourself and your children in a new home. Often this home is not as comfortable as the home you left. Hopefully your children will be able to remain in the same school. This will lessen the disruption to their lives. Even if you are a truly conscientious parent, your children may evidence some behavioral or emotional symptoms related to the divorce. These are more likely if the divorce was contentious or if you and your ex are still angry and fighting with one another.

If your children are in grade school, the most common symptoms they exhibit following divorce are aggressiveness towards their peers or siblings. Their teachers may report that they seem preoccupied and inattentive during class. They may begin wetting the bed or have nightmares and ask to sleep with you. They may be more clingy and get upset when you leave them at preschool or school. In fact, they may get upset with almost any separation from either you or your ex. For information about how teenagers and adult children respond to their parents' divorce, see Will My Children Be Alright?

The symptoms I've mentioned above are normal. The best way to deal with them is to spend one-on-one time with your child. Let them know both in words and through your actions that you are not leaving them. Children sometimes think their misbehavior caused the divorce. It's very important for you to make crystal clear that this is not the case.

Be especially attentive to making sure your children aren't triangled between you and your ex. In other words -- DON'T ask them questions about what your ex is doing, who they are seeing, what they are buying, where they are going, etc. Your children don't want to be the conduit between you and your ex and it's not fair to put them in this position. This sort of questioning is a way of hanging on to your ex. In addition, DON'T talk negatively about your ex to your children. After all, your ex is their parent too. In most instances, this negativity back fires. Children feel angry towards the parent who's being critical.

The best thing you can do for your children is to work through your own feelings of anger towards your ex. If you're unable to manage your anger, seek counseling.

During the first year there are many events that will awaken your feelings of sadness, anger or guilt. The first of these emotional events occurs when the divorce is legally finalized. Despite the fact that you and your ex may have been wrangling over settlement and custody issues for some time, the day the divorce becomes finalized may be traumatic for one or both of you. Once the divorce is legal - your marriage is truly over. This event affects people in different ways but it's not unusual to have some sort of emotional reaction to it.

Holidays, anniversaries, birthdays and other family occasions are especially difficult. It's a good idea to have plans with friends or to do something special for yourself on these occasions. Creating new rituals is an important part of rebuilding your life. In time, you won't be so aware of these occasions, but during the first year you may be very aware of them and they will, in all likelihood, stir up feelings.

There is one exception to what I've said above. It concerns those who have been involved in an affair prior to divorce or those who immediately get involved in a relationship following divorce. These folks face different issues. See my article, The Rush to Remarry and The Affair.

It usually takes people two years to adjust after the literal and emotional upheaval of divorce. And it's not uncommon for this adjustment process to take longer. Each person is unique. The length of the marriage, the nature of the marriage, the reasons for divorce, the actual divorce process and whether you are the one who left or the one who is being left - all of these factor into how long it will take to recover.

The best thing you can do in the first year following divorce is to be patient and kind with yourself. Try to accept the conflicting feelings you have. Don't try to avoid your grief, sadness and loneliness by getting prematurely involved in a new relationship. Work on developing a support system and try to develop new rituals and activities that are fulfilling. You are entering a new chapter in your life. While there are many challenges, it is a time ripe for reinvention and for creating a life that's full.

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Clearfield 84015 Davis Co. UT divorce lawyer questions

Child Visitation Rights - How Adultery Affects Child Custody

The number of divorces has trebled over the past half century and is continuing to rise. The most recent figures from the Office for National Statistics reveal there were 313,600 marriages and 167,100 divorces in the UK during 2004, up from 305,900 marriages and 154,600 divorces in 2000. However, the fallout particularly on the financial side can be felt for years afterwards if the process is not managed properly from the outset.

The emotional aspects of separation can be difficult enough without having to address the minutiae of budgets, pensions, savings and investments. But it is vital to dedicate time to sorting out the financial details and seek professional advice or you could end up paying a heavier than expected price for the split.

People are planning for their divorces now both before and during their marriage and wealth protection is a whole new issue that needs to be considered.

This trend could be partly apportioned to last years high-profile litigations, known as the Miller and McFarlane cases, which redefined the concept of compensation where wives gave up good earning careers to have children and deal with the domestic side of the family.

In particular, the Miller case also demonstrated that even where a marriage did not last very long, this does not necessarily affect the principle of equal division of matrimonial assets.

Before potential financial settlements can be discussed, anyone considering filing for divorce needs to work out how much the divorce process itself will cost.

Any action will obviously depend on the individual circumstances of the case, but there are some general themes to bear in mind. The earlier you plan for a possible divorce the better. Taken to extremes, cynics - often including those who have been married and divorced before - argue that a pre-nuptial agreement is worth considering. While pre-nuptial agreements are not binding under British law, they are increasingly being given greater priority in court, after the Miller and McFarlane cases.

Even so, the vast majority of couples do not consider pre-nuptial contracts. For those who find themselves sadly overtaken by events it is important to build up a record of your partner's finances.

For couples with joint bank accounts or credit cards, both parties are jointly and severally liable for any outstanding debts. That means there is no splitting of the debt between couples on divorce and lenders reserve their legal right to pursue either or both parties for the entire debt, regardless of what the divorced couple may view as their share.

Banks can also freeze an account on the request of either party if there is a dispute. But if an account is not frozen, then the account's normal terms and conditions apply. For example, that means one partner can withdraw funds without the other's permission.

Any other action, such as changing the account to another type of account, can only be taken with the written agreement of both parties.

Two people are not jointly responsible for debts taken out in individual names just because they are married. The marriage has nothing to do with it. So, your partner could have a £10,000 loan in his name and you are not liable for it, he is. It depends whether or not you took out the debt in joint names. This is an important distinction to make.

However, it could get messy if you are both named on a mortgage and the deeds of the property and your partner cannot afford to pay a loan in his name. The creditors can then apply for a charge on his share of the equity in the property.

For example, this might have nothing to do with the wife if it is a loan to the husband's business but the family home could still be at risk.

There have been several court cases in recent years where banks have sought to repossess homes where wives have signed agreements for loans to their husband's business but subsequently denied having understood the consequences.

Most people's second-most valuable asset is their pension fund. Usually, this will be in the husband's name and, often, a non-earning wife may have little or no pension fund of her own.

However, there are also cases where the wife has access to a final salary or defined-benefit pension which might be far more valuable than a husband's money purchase or defined-contribution scheme and so could substantially alter the division of assets. Anyone involved in a divorce should be aware of the three main options facing them if a private pension pot has been built up.

The first possible arrangement is known as offsetting, where couples agree one party keeps the pension while the other gets the house, usually as a home for children. Although this can cause problems in the future as the person with the house still needs something to live on when they retire. You sign away those pension rights at your peril. The second option is known as ear-marking, where the parties agree that the individual with the pension will pay a percentage of it to the other party on retirement. The problem here is that in the meantime the person with the pension still has control of it and so this may not work out to the advantage of the other party. The third option, called pension splitting, is where the person with the pension allocates a part of it to the former partner and those assets are then transferred into a pension in the former partner's name. In the majority of cases, could be the most attractive solution as it gives the person acquiring the pension control and they are not reliant on their spouse for those pensions rights.

You may get shared additional state pension if you divorce or have your marriage annulled after December 2000 or if your civil partnership ends.

Often women are still reliant upon their husbands to provide for them in retirement. However, in the case of a divorce this can often leave the ex-wife with little or no pension provision.

Both parties should get their financial house in order as soon as possible and avoid attempting to conceal any assets as the process is based on both parties making full disclosure of their assets and liabilities.

The number of divorces where family wealth was split half and half between husband and wife more than doubled in 2005, up to 63 per cent of cases, against 30 per cent in the previous year, according to forensic accountants Grant Thornton.

Any assets transferred between husband and wife in the tax year of separation are free of capital gains tax (CGT). So, while January is a popular time for people to file for divorce for emotional reasons, financially April 6 may prove a wiser choice.

If you separate on April 1, you only have a small window of a few days before the end of the tax year and realistically you are not going to get everything sorted in that time. People may decide to wait until April 6 so you can benefit from the whole of the tax year to move assets around without the tax implications.

If either party has brought assets to the marriage, it is important that records are kept as it is possible that those assets may be ring-fenced and excluded from the settlement.

But if filing for divorce is the only option, taking time to plan the split and filing for divorce at the start of the tax year instead may be your best financial move.

Basic planning

Gather information and keep records of your partner's financial income, gains and assets
Don't tell the bank of a dispute as they may freeze the account, leaving you with no money to fight your corner
Keep records of your expenditure, to prove your standard of living
Check whether you should be entitled to some of your partner's pension

If you would like to find out more about the services that we provide, please visit our website http://www.mfgsolicitors.com to arrange a meeting.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707

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Centerville 84014 Davis Co. UT affair with divorce lawyer

Child Visitation Rights - How Adultery Affects Child Custody

Accept the Divorce and Heal

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Divorce Mediation vs Traditional Divorce

Follow these guidelines to make the transition of divorce and the process of family restructuring and rebuilding easier for you and your children.

1. If you have not done so already, call a truce with your Ex. (Note: Your Ex does not have to take the same action.) Divorced parents can succeed at co-parenting. That success may not begin with harmony but, at a minimum, a ceasefire is necessary.

2. You are stuck with each other forever. One day, you will be Grandma and Grandpa to the same babies. And when these babies are grown they will repeat the stories that they heard about Grandma and Grandpa. This will be your legacy. How do you want to be depicted?

3. Divorce creates a breakdown of trust and communication. Accept this and work towards rebuilding trust and communication with the other parent, even if it feels like you are doing all of the work. And, be patient, emotional wounds need time to heal.

4. Establish a business relationship with your former spouse. The business is the co-parenting of your children. Business relationships are based on mutual gain. Emotional attachments and expectations don't work in business. Instead, in a successful business communication is up-front and direct, appointments are scheduled, meetings take place, agendas are provided, discussions focus on the business at hand, everyone is polite, formal courtesies are observed, and agreements are explicit, clear, and written. You do not need to like the people you do business with but you do need to put negative feelings aside in order to conduct business. Relating in a business-like way with your former spouse may feel strange and awkward at first so if you catch yourself behaving in an unbusiness-like way, end the conversation and continue the discussion at another time.

5. There are at least two versions to every story. Your child may attempt to slant the facts in a way that gives you what she thinks you want to hear. So give the other parent the benefit of the doubt when your child reports on extraordinary discipline and/or rewards.

6. Do not suggest possible plans or make arrangements directly with pre-adolescent children. And, always confirm any arrangements you have discussed with an older child with the other parent ASAP.

7. The transition between Mom's house and Dad's house is often difficult. Be sure to have your children clean, fed, ready to go, and in possession of all of their paraphernalia when its time to make the switch. Better yet, if possible avoid the dreaded switch by structuring your time sharing so that weekends start Friday after school and end with school drop-off on Monday morning.

8. Do not screen calls from the other parent or limit telephone contact between your child and the other parent. Instead, ensure that your child is available to speak to the other parent when s/he is on the telephone.

9. Do not discuss the divorce, finances, or other adult subjects with your children. Likewise, avoid saying anything negative about other parent and his/her family and friends to your children.

10. Children are always listening - especially when you think they're not. So, avoid discussions regarding the divorce, finances, the other parent, and other adult subjects when your children are within earshot.

11. Avoid using body language, facial expressions or other subtleties to express negative thoughts and emotions about the other parent. Your child can read you!

12. You can discuss your feelings with your children to the extent that they can understand them. But, if you let your child know that you are terrified of the future, your child will be terrified too. Instead, keep a balanced emotional perspective that focuses on the difference between feelings and facts.

13. Do not use your child as a courier for messages or money.

14. Support your child's right to visit their grandparents and extended family. Children benefit from knowing their roots and heritage. And, children love tradition. Extended family provides children with a sense of consistency, connection, and identity - especially during divorce. Remember neither extended family is better or worse - they are just different.

15. Avoid the urge to question your child or press him for information regarding the details of your co-parents personal or professional life.

16. Each parent must establish and maintain his or her own relationship with the children. Neither of you should act as a mediator between the children and the other parent. And, neither of you should act as the defense attorney, presenting a child's case to the other parent.

17. Be on time for pick-ups and drop-offs. Do not enter the other parent's home unless you are invited in.

18. Your child's relationship with his parents will influence his relationships for the rest of his life. Never put your child in a position where he has to choose between his parents or decide where his familial allegiances lie. Instead, allow him to love both parents without fear of angering or hurting the other.

19. Do not take it personally if your teenager prefers to be with his/her friends. Don't push, but remain available. If you feel rejected and back-off, your teen may feel rejected in return.

20. Expect that your children may feel confused, guilty, sad and/or abandoned in response to the divorce. Acknowledge their feelings as normal and remind them that even though the family is undergoing a major change, you and their Dad/Mom will always be their parents.

21. Even if the other parent disappoints your child or fails to honor a time commitment, you will tell the child that in spite of this error the other parent loves the child very much.

22. If your kids want to talk, shut-up and listen.

23. Keep your children informed about the day-to-day details of their lives and your separation/divorce in a way that they can understand.

24. Maintain as many security anchors (continuation of relationships, rituals, and the environment) as possible.

25. Don't overindulge your children out of guilt or in an attempt to "buy" them. Children want to stay up late but they need rest. Children want candy but they need vegetables. Children express financial wants but they have emotional needs. Give your children a small amount of what they want and a lot of what they need.

26. Remember no one is all bad or all good. Be honest (with yourself) about your ex's and your own strengths and weaknesses.

27. Be consistent in how you discipline your children. Set boundaries, giving them freedom within a limited area, and enforced rules outside of the "corral."

28. Avoid giving mixed messages or false hopes of reunification.

29. Remember that schedules will have to change from time to time to accommodate circumstances and your child's development. If you need to change the schedule notify your co-parent ASAP. When your co-parent needs to change the schedule show a relaxed flexibility and go with the flow.

30. Share good memories, but do not live in the past.

31. Consider occasionally separating your children in order to give each parent some individual time with each child.

32. Introduce your child to neighborhood children that she can play with at her second home.

33. Consider holding monthly family meetings, with a rotating chair, to discuss chores, problems, schedules, plans and challenges.

34. Coordinate with your co-parent so that school events, functions and activities are covered. Who will buy the school pictures? Who will handle field trips? Who will work the fund-raiser? Who will work on the science project? Who will buy the school supplies? Who will handle the teacher's gift?

35. Don't forget old family traditions and rituals - practice them and create new ones.

36. Be willing to separate your needs from the needs of your children and make their needs the priority.

37. Keep parenting issues separate from money issues.

38. If possible, tell your children about the pending separation together before one parent leaves. Plan a transition time if you can.

39. Remember to tell your children:
(a) Your father/mother and I made the choice to divorce because we thought it would be best for everyone.
(b) Both your father/mother and I love you and will always love you. The love that a parent has for a child never ends.
(c) Your mother/father and I are working together to make sure we take care of you.
(d) Your mother/father and I each have a special relationship with you. You can love us both and never feel that it means choosing between us, just like each of us loves you and your brother/sister.

40. Ensure that boy/girlfriends and potential step-parents go slow, stay out of the divorce, don't interfere in a child's relationship with either of his natural parents, and do not encourage the child to call them Mom or Dad.

41. Children, of any age, may be hesitant to spend time with a parent for a variety of reasons. Both parents should encourage the child to go with the other parent.

42. If you are not united it will confuse your child and confirm to him that he can manipulate you.

43. Make sure that your child's friends' parents know your co-parent and know that they can trust him/her with their child.

44. If you are a long-distance parent:
(a) Remember that your child is a digital native. On the other hand, depending on your age, you may be a digital immigrant. Use your child's advanced knowledge of technology to keep you connected.
(b) Watch TV together. Let your child know that you will be watching her favorite show and will be ready to talk about it.
(c) Give your child pre-addressed, stamped manila envelopes so that he can send you schoolwork and other paperwork.
(d) Make audio and video recordings for each other. Nothing to say? Record yourself reading a book and mail the book and the recording to your child.
(e) Remember small events. Send cards, pictures and letters for Halloween, Valentine's Day, The 4th of July, etc.
(f) Set up web cams on your computer and your kids' computers. Use video mail and YouTube to connect.
(g) Use My-space, Facebook, and Twitter to stay in touch, if you can do so privately and safely.
(h) Make sure that your kids have cell phones with your number programmed in. Use text messages and photos to stay in touch throughout the day.
(i) Keep up with schoolwork. Send teachers pre-addressed, stamped manila envelopes so that it's easy to send you updates. If you hear nothing be sure to initiate communications with teachers by telephone and email.

45. Befriend other divorced families that have been successful in the transition and use them as mentors.

46. Divorce is not an event, it is a process. Allow yourself, your ex-spouse and your children at least two years for readjustment.

47. Divorce in itself will not destroy your children. It is your reaction to the divorce that has the power to destroy their coping mechanisms. On-going conflict and emotionally unavailable parents who have regressed into boy/girl crazy adolescents are the real culprits.

48. Don't use your children to fill your need for companionship. If you don't have one, GET A LIFE!! This is crucial to your (and your child's) recovery from divorce. Seek out support from friends, family, support groups, a divorce coach. Consider entering into therapy with a licensed mental health professional. Consider joining Parents-Without-Partners, Co-dependent's Anonymous or a Church group for divorced/widowed persons.

49. Dissolving a marriage doesn't mean the dissolution of the family or your parenting obligations. In fact, while a family is undergoing the restructuring process the children need strong and caring parents more then ever. If you and/or your ex are too emotionally drained to be those parents find temporary substitutes who can give your kids what they need.

50. Every child needs at least one loving, stable parent. It is YOUR responsibility to be that parent. And, if your child is lucky enough to have an additional parent - a loving step-parent, rejoice - because no child can have too many people love him.

Family Law Attorneys are standing by call 1-800-564-2707